A Life

A weekly podcast about asexuality

A Life #36: Parents

Download (MP3)

This episode of A life has it’s hosts tell personal stories of their asexuality and parents, some sex education stories, and more.

Are you out to your parents?


November 4, 2010 - Posted by | Podcast


  1. I told my mom about it, because she makes it comfortable for me to talk to her about any topic. She used to say that it was weird I wasn’t seeing anyone or having sex. But I guess that’s normal coming from her (she’s a sexual person), she might not have known it even existed before I told her about myself. She didn’t freak out and I honestly think she just wants me to find a person who I can be happy with. That’s all that matters in the end!
    P.S.: Love your show, interesting topics. Keep it up!

    Comment by BelgianBelle | November 4, 2010

  2. I’m glad my last comment made you laugh 😀 Great podcast as always, you guys were awesome and incredibly funny XD I’m under impression that lack of Henrik causes more giggle fits or is it just my impression? (And I refuse to say if I think it’s good or bad, because I love your giggle fits as much as I love dry jokes that no one gets. Thank you very much, I’m the great stalker of you all. I mean, fan. Fan that is. XD)

    Khem, sorry. Serious face now. About coming out to the parents. I came out to my mother and talked about it quite a lot at some poin on asexual community on livejournal. Basically it was really weird, cause I thought she KNEW. And I start talking to her about asexual Sherlock fic I’ve read and she asks what asexual means. And I blink, but explain. And my mom asks “Are there really people like that?!” And I sit slightly shocked and wave my hand “Uhm, yeah? Sitting right here?” We had a talk and she hugged me and told me she loves me and it’s all fine. She still worries tough, she’s not only highly sexual person, she’s also one of those who’s greatest fear is to be left alone. The idea of me never finding romance in my life is terrifing to her, because it’s hard for her to understand that as much as she fears being alone, I fear being stuck with someone. She was really sad when I explained I’m not even interested in sex-less romance. And she kept on asking if I can’t just live with someone who feels the same way, so I wouldn’t be all alone. My answer was “Mom, if this other person would feel like I do about those things, they wouldn’t want to be with me as much as I don’t want to be with them.” I can only hope now that this knowledge will stick with my mom.

    I never did came out to my step-dad, but that’s cause we don’t really get into serious conversations or many conversations at all. I don’t hide it tough, I’m pretty sure he knows (especially know that my mom and I had the coming out talk).

    And well, I never get to came out to my father since he died before I realized asexual is the label that fits me. *shrugs* It’s probably for the best, because I believe it would be a hard conversation and he wouldn’t accept it. We didn’t have good contact and if he lived to this date it would only get worse.

    PS. Hey, I’m back to my long and rambling comments! Sorry. XD

    Comment by Andrea_Deer | November 5, 2010

  3. On the queersecrets tumblr, someone sent in a secret a few months back that said “She already knows how I feel about relationships and sex, so why is it so hard to say “Mum, I’m asexual”.

    Thats kind of how I stand with the whole telling parents thing. My mum knows while a boyfriend would be nice, I’m not really seeking a relationship and I’m probably won’t get married. She also knows I have no desire to have children. She knows all this but I’ve never said I’m ace. I’m not sure if she has heard of asexuality but If she had she would probably know Im this way without me having to say it to her myself.

    I know its a different situation but to me saying I’m ace is different to coming out as gay because that the preference of who your going to be in relationship with. To be in a relationship you need to tell your family so they know when you bring home a girl not a guy. Its not really something you can hide behind closed doors forever. On the other hand, Being ace is just like being straight. I mean if I was straight and sexual I’m not about to sit down and have a conversation with my mum about my sex life and how good my boyfriend is in bed or something. Not having a sex life is no different to if I had one as to how I would talk about it with my mum. It just not something I would do. And to the outside world I’m just a straight girl, I don’t think there’s a need to say otherwise.

    That been said, I haven’t told my friends yet (even though one is gay, you think it wouldn’t be a big deal). I’m not that close to them for one and two I haven’t had a reason to need to tell them. Maybe one day I will but time will tell. The interesting thing is though while I’m really close with my mum and not that close with my friends, Id rather tell my friends then my mum about my aceness. I just think it the whole sex thing, even though its about me not having it, its so embarrassing and awkward talking about that stuff to one of my parents.

    Comment by TheJester | November 10, 2010

  4. My comment (though written in anger) was not an attack and though it probably came across that way. Anyway.
    Aromantic forum: http://aromantics.forum-motion.net/

    Comment by Miserable bastard | November 18, 2010

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