A Life

A weekly podcast about asexuality

A Life #35: Asexuality and Religion, Take 2

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Does asexuality have a place in religion? The team discuses this, celibacy and religion itself in this episode of A Life.

Do you feel comfortable as an asexual in your religious community?


October 19, 2010 - Posted by | Podcast


  1. Like Vlad and to an extent Heidi, I also practice Zen by my own and because have found no Zendo where I can practice with a real-life community. so I’ve resorted to online dharma, Buddhist literature and DIY Zen. And do recommend it to other asexuals out there who like “going it alone”.

    My practice only influences my (a)sexuality in terms of intention, which is a precept. Most of the time I find that societal conditioning compels me to talk to someone in hopes of forming a beautiful relationship that may lead to some type of material or intangible benefit.

    But for the most part on the days when I’m really walking the Zennist path, I tend to feel a sense of neighborly love with everyone I meet; which is to say that I have no hang-ups about the sex of the person I’m greeting, their attractiveness, or what type of help they need.

    The moral yet non-dogmatic Buddhist practices of meditation and watching intention always seem to assuage any unclear thinking.

    This was probably the reason why I was naturally drawn to general Buddhism and asexuality. Though I’m not sure which of the two first manifested during my time in high school, between the ages of 15-17.

    Over the course of meditation and study of the dharma, a certain amount of clarity was gained; this in turn shifted my reaction to attraction, grasping, lusting, and romance. It probably works the same way for most buddhists. However, there are times when my “sinister” side gets the best of me, causing me to go clubbing. Seal Clubbing. That is all.

    buddhas are asexual @ blogspot

    Comment by asexy_buddhist | October 20, 2010

  2. This has probably been the most frustrating episode to listen to mostly because of the damned use of the word ‘religion’ by Heidi (sorry but I have to call you out on this). All the comments in the first ten minutes – or so – you make these summaries about “religion” and sex and you’re forgetting religion =/= Christianity. I have nothing against you making Christianity and sexual comments but some of the comments drove me INSANE.
    ‘Some people say “oh sex and religion are opposites”‘ and another comment about religion and sexual identity being awkward and homosexuals… this is all Christianity or at least Abramic religions. Nowhere in Buddhism does it say ‘WE HATE GAYS’ actually from a Human’s Right point of view Theravada Buddhism (traditional/original) says ‘love who you want’ and ‘sex that doesn’t produce children is a waste of your time/effort’ that doesn’t not *just* mean homosexuals. Heterosexuals who have pointless sex is the same as two men doing it.
    ‘Why people don’t like homosexuals in all religions’ . . . . . First of all LIBERAL religions. There’s a gay Catholic church in Soho, London. See. Catholics =/= homosexual haters.
    ARGGHH! This is an impossible podcast to listen to for somebody who’s studied religion in detail.
    I’ll be honest. I gave up less than twenty minutes through.
    You can’t have a full religious discussion without mentioning the Six World religions: Hinduism, Buddhism, Juduaism, Sikhism, Islam and Christianity.
    I heard Orthodox Jewish and Catholics.
    I know you can’t mention every single religion because it’s all too vast but judge the religious people not the religion. The Bible says a lot of things but not all Christians believe in it. Oddly enough not all Christians believe Jesus was the son of God but I’m not getting into that conversation.

    Now judging by the comment made by asexy_buddhist you did eventually get to Buddhism but by that time I about ripped my ears off and I’m not going to go and find it.

    Comment by Rantings from a miserable bastard | October 28, 2010

  3. This podcast definitely changes my life. You succeeded where my online and real life friends failed. You convinced me to finally watch Doctor Who. XD
    It was awesome podcast to listen to. You’re awesome as always! đŸ˜€

    Comment by Andrea_Deer | October 29, 2010

  4. Another great topic! I felt a few red flags go up in the beginning, when “religion” was generalized as the Abrahamic religions, but unlike Miserable Bastard’s comment, I continued listening and found this to be one of my favorite episodes yet.

    None of you are experts on *all* religions of the world and I’d rather you spoke, as you did, about the ones you had experience with. And I’d say you had a nice selection of religions that you discussed.

    Anyway, the real reason for my comment was that I enjoyed the part about asexuality and paganism, and Beltane has always been a tough one for me as well. Beltane having just passed a few days ago, I’m glad to say that after discovering asexuality I feel so much more a part of this sabbat in my own unique way.

    Paganism in general has had a tendency to push me away because of the tendency toward overt sexuality and just generally being oversexed on the part of the followers of this path. This is a generalization of course, but the loudest voices in the community tend to be the most lusty. At least in southern California.

    But discovering asexuality has helped me to find a comfortable place within this spirituality.

    And I’m so sorry, I think it is Heidi that is the pagan? I think you mentioned that you attend CSULB (that’s where I got my BA) and you mentioned you can’t find any pagan groups. I can always recommend a few, as well as events if you ever wanted to check it out….just send me an email =)

    Comment by Asexy Librarian | May 4, 2011

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