A Life

A weekly podcast about asexuality

A Life #33: Asexuality And Marriage

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Marriage is a very deeply integrated cultural tradition. But how does it apply to asexuality and what are the specific challenges asexuals have to deal with in the context of marriage. We also discuss the meaning of marriage as a practical, cultural and symbolic gesture.



October 2, 2010 - Posted by | Podcast

1 Comment »

  1. In this episode you were talking about the sanctity of marriage and how religion bags on about it in regards to gay marriage….

    It always amazing me when people talk about this. In today’s world in the year 2010, while most same sex couples can’t get married because it is so bad, they are many other types of marriages that I myself deem worse but are accepted and legal. For example, In Australia you can’t marry a blood relative or a step relative but a person can marry their aunt or uncle, niece or nephew or ‘first’ cousin as long as their not the same sex. I also know in America, the same is true about first cousins (http://cdn-www.i-am-bored.com/media/50500_statesmarriagecousingay.jpg)
    Also in Australia, even in a recent news report you can get married in jail even if your a murder that killed a little kid. And don’t get me started on marriages in Vegas, like the one Briney had, even though it was only 55 days long. The fact that these among other marriages are legal doesn’t bother religion groups? How are they not effecting that sanctity of marriage? Isn’t letting murders or criminals in jail whose than letting good same sex people marry each other?

    And also divorce rates aren’t getting any lower now days, before it was death till you part but now its once I’m sick of you I’m off. And open marriages defiantly harm this so called sanity of marriage. People will try and pretend they don’t exist but they do, and if anything was hurting the definition of marriage being between two people, I’m sure this is and yet noone seems to be protesting against either of these things.

    The fact this is still an issue and a debate and isn’t legal just doesn’t make sense, we should have solved this along time ago, I’m sick of hearing about really- make it legal already and lets me done with it.

    On the next show you talked about Kissing at the Alter when you get married. I know this was brought up in a past episode too but I forgot to mention it. Even before I knew I was ace, the whole kissing at the alter freaked me out. I’m not against kissing or anything, I just don’t like the idea of a public display of affection in front of all these people I know. I always saw the whole thing so awkward letting your parents watching you kissing or whateva. Given most of the kissing wouldn’t be too involved and just a peck ont he lips. I donno I can’t see why I want to do that while everyone I know watches. It would be so embarrassing. I like the idea of blowing kissing to your partner. It would be so cute. I donno if shaking hands would go well….. might make it seem more like a business deal then a marriage LOL.

    In the episode you took a little questionnaire about your reactions to sex in public domains. The movie thing. I can’t understand how families can have “movie nights”.When the kids are little I guess its not so bad but as kids get older and the movie choices get more mature, as so the parents can enjoy the movie too this usually means more sex scenes. While yes sex scene for some families would be a great way to spark discussion about safe sex or something along those lines, All I can think of is how cringe worthy. I hear you say, a sex scene aren’t so bad, but to watch it with your parents there…. common it can only be awkward. Take The Rocky Horror Picture Show for example. A great musical but try watching those sex scene- while nothing is shown really with your parents next to you.

    What are your thoughts on breastfeeding. I know this topic sparks alot of debate when it gets taught up every now and then. A women can’t walk down the street with her breast out so should she be allowed to show them in this contest too? While I can agree there is nothing sexual about it and its just the naked body, I can’t help but still be on the side of put it away. Like for example, a women often get told to leave cafes and restaurants and other public places if they choose to feed their baby in public not in the toilets.

    Question? Do you guys think you can be demi-romantic as opposed to demi-sexual… so instead of demi sexual where you can only sleep with people you know, this person would be a romantic asexual that can only get in relationships with people they know. For example a single person might see someone on a bus and go talk to them, because they think they could be boyfriend material… while another person may be attracted to that same guy but would only think about being in a relationship with him only after they have know them a while and there friends etc… not right now as they sit looking at him on the bus as a stranger….?

    Comment by TheJester | November 8, 2010

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