A Life

A weekly podcast about asexuality

A Life #15: Asexuality and Health

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Studies have shown that regular sex promotes good mental and physical health as well as promotes longevity. So are we all insane, sick people who die young? One can only hope.

Forum Post of the Week:
“Broken” people?

Do you see a connection between your asexuality and your health?


December 4, 2009 - Posted by | Podcast


  1. Here’s some comments for you.

    1. I always enjoy your cool intro music. (I bet that’s one of Henrik’s creations.)

    2. I have a chronic physical condition, but I am otherwise in good health and seldom get sick. Despite problems, I’d be glad to have the extra life that Henrik doesn’t want. 😉

    3. Many (but not all) ways of being ‘different’ shouldn’t be considered ‘broken’, including asexuality. The ‘common’/’normal’/’majority’ isn’t always right/good/best or the only way to be. If asexuality were ‘normal’ instead of sexuality, we wouldn’t have the problems caused by careless overpopulation, and children could be carefully planned for and only conceived if and when they’re really wanted by people who really want to be parents, instead of children being neglected by clueless accidental parents. For another example, being intelligent and thoughtful is (sadly) not ‘normal’, but the world could use more of that too.

    Comment by Acenonymous | December 5, 2009

  2. Saying an object is broken implies it was meant to have a usage or function but that it cannot perform this function.

    Thus, broken is kind of subjective here since human beings are not considered to have (setting aside the issue of evolution) a specified function.

    Ultimately, how you want to use yourself is up to you (for the most part). If the intended use for you isn’t being affected, then you’re not considered broken.

    But I do I agree with the post about finding meaning in broken objects. Hell, appropriately, my user name is one of them.

    Sometimes, I oddly sympathise with things like broken shoes and I guess it makes me a bit kooky.

    Comment by worn-out sandal | December 7, 2009

  3. The idea of being broken seems to be a consistent theme that comes up in the community, but you all made an interesting comment concerning the idea that if people were not “broken” they would not be who they are. One is not necessarily happy with themself, but one may still be willing to accept or deal with being who they are. The idea of healing all the things inside that have left their mark reminds me of a concept I once heard of known as a “fisher king wound.” Unremarkable little things that others might not think of that get their hooks into you, and cause this pain. They permanently mark you, and while you can move past them or transcend them, you will always have them. People are a collection of these wounds. We would not be who we are without them. And in some ways it can be viewed that we look down upon those without them culturally by viewing such people as “spoiled” and deriding them. These wounds, in turn, as was commented provide a certain strength. And it is this strength that allows one to continue on in the face of lesser attacks. I’ll take the wounds over losing myself.

    Comment by The Pixel Monk | December 8, 2009

  4. For anyone to call all sex “healthy” would be a huge over-generalization, since having unprotected sex with someone you don’t know is one of the unhealthiest things you could do. There are so many different situations in which people could have sex, with a wide range of health values.

    I think one potential health issue, mental or physical, for asexuals is that of being hesitant to seek treatment because of misunderstandings from people in the health profession.

    (I love how your “possibly related post” is something about kebabs.)

    Comment by Ily | December 9, 2009

  5. I’ve read deeper some of these studies claiming the health benefits of sex and there didn’t prove that the benefit came from partnered sex, but plainly from the orgasm, so I distrust any claim that sex is healthy. Moreover, as Ily pointed out, partnered sex has the drawback of venereal diseases, while self-provided orgasms have the health advantages without the disadvantages. So, I see here a policy of promoting partnered sex and hiding masturbation, being the former more dangerous.

    Comment by Isaac | December 9, 2009

  6. I don’t remember which episode is the one you touch on telling a doctor your asexual when you go to see them about something else but this one is close enough.

    I think telling your doctor is irrelevant -if the question comes up of being sexuality active or not I’d just say I’m not active and they can draw there own conclusions about that, saying I’m asexual is not helpful in anyway just like telling them your gay not straight would be. Unless they need to know help treat you for something I don’t see the need. Also If I went to my doctor and they knew I was asexual and then found out I had depression months later I can only image what the conversation would be like, so for that reason I don’t think I’d bring it up.

    Also I agree with Hendrick about even if sex is good for your physical health it could be damaging for your mental health. Sex isn’t like working out at the gym to stay fit even though you hate it, the idea of sex makes my stomach turn so if I had to actually go there I’m sure my mental health would suffer for it.

    Comment by TheJester | October 1, 2010

  7. This is continued from my last comment (didn’t think of this when I posted that a few days ago).

    There have been studies saying kissing is great a burning calories and helps prevent wrinkles ( a whole number of things just a small search on Google can prove this) and that hugs are extremely good for your mental health and can lower your blood pressure (another goggle search can prove this too). Even for aromatics, there have also been studies saying just spending one night out with friends can make you more happy and is great for your heath. So while sex has alot of great health benefits so many other forms of human interaction and exercise do too, so as an asexual not having sex isn’t going to be that bad for my overall health as you stated on your show.

    Another thing that leads back into studies like the ones talked about above:

    There are many studies done about attraction and what makes men and women tick. Alot of the time these studies come back to say we subconsciously look for people who have features of fertility or would make good fathers. For example men might be attracted to women with big hips for this is a sign of fertility and good for when the women is pregnant…while women may look for a man that has good skin for this is a sign of good genes to pass on to future children etc

    As an asexual, who doesn’t want kids am I still subconsciously finding men attractive that I’d want to mate and have spawn with or not? If not what does this say for the studies in the first place?

    Also even for sexuals is attraction is about finding a partner with whom to reproduce, How does this affect sexual attraction in straight people that don’t want to have kids or gay people that do. And how about infertile women who want kids but their body’s can’t. How does things differ in they way they are attracted to people?

    Comment by TheJester | October 7, 2010

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