A Life

A weekly podcast about asexuality

A Life #6: “Causes” for Asexuality

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The panel returns to the question of legitimacy by tackling some of the more popular notions behind the possible causes for Asexuality. Not surprisingly, the conclusions are pretty devastating for the skeptics. In the process, the panelists learn the true nature of elevator music and realize that sometimes they just put out a really stinker of a show.

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Are you happy being asexual?


September 26, 2009 - Posted by | Podcast


  1. Great show! I burst out laughing when Henrik started playing the elevator music.

    At the beginning of the show you talked about how many asexuals do not want to have children. I am an asexual who does not want children. One of my sexual friends suggested that I might be asexual because, at some level, I associate sex with having children in my mind. I think this is probably true to some extent, but I certainly don’t think I would be sexual even if the act had nothing to do with procreation. I also would not want children even if sex was not required to have them.

    However, anecdotal evidence suggests that asexuals are less likely to want to children compared to the general population. I wonder if there is in fact a link between asexuality and the lack of desire to procreate. Could it be that asexuality influences the desire to have children, or that the lack of desire for children can influence asexuality? I’m sure that both traits can and do exist independently of each other in many asexuals, but it would be interesting to study the reasons for the correlation.

    Comment by Brienne | September 27, 2009

  2. We’re glad somebody liked it. All the panelists were tired, busy, in a bad mood or, at least in my case, all three. Ugh.

    Comment by The A Life Team | September 27, 2009

  3. I thought I’d set the record straight:
    In my comment regarding parents and breeding, I did not mean to call anyone a breeder. In fact, I find that kind of direct attack on people distasteful. I was only speaking in biological/anthropological terms and I didn’t mean to offend. And Henrik, thanks for attempting to interpret what I meant.

    Comment by asexy buddhist | November 20, 2009

  4. I just started listening your podcast in the last few months so I’m very behind LOL hence why I comment old posts such as this one.

    I’m scared to post this because I bet it will make me look like a idiot.I want you all to know before I say anything, that even though I wrote this, I’m not saying I agree with this, Its just something that occurred to me and I wanted to share my thoughts. And for the record I’m asexual not sexual if that helps.

    Possible causes: Immune over time

    There’s a quote from Andy Warhol that says :”I’m afraid that if you look at a thing long enough, it loses all of its meaning.

    Sex has gone from something that was once taboo, to the world almost revolving around it. Teenagers seem to be losing their virginity earlier and what in the 50s would have shocked the world, whether in fashion, movies and music is now so far from what is allowed on our screens today not just in sex but in violence aswell.

    As far as sex goes it’s totally free and out in the open. People no longer have to feel embarrassed about fetishes and gays are being allowed to be themselves more and more everyday, if you want porn you don’t have to go to the back of a video store to rent a movie you can just log on to the internet, teenagers can get any question answered if they just type it into Google, no more talking to there parents or clueless friends. If you want to gain some experience or see some women up close without a relationship, there is prostitutes and strip clubs.

    In today’s society, there’s really nothing curious or mysterious about sex. Once upon a time you couldn’t even see women legs or arms bare in public, The first time you saw a women naked was on your wedding night. Now you can see lady gaga or Katy perry practically naked in there video clips and go to the beach and all you see is pink flesh.

    While the fact we are bombarded with images everyday of sex reinforces some peoples sex drive and can even lead people forming porn additions, could it also have the opposite affect on others?

    Because they are exposed to these images so often, could one become immune to them and thus lose all there interest in sex altogether?

    oversexualiesed world + already low sex drive = boredom with the idea of sex + asexuality

    I think alot of people in long term relationships (im talking about sexuals here) cheat on their partners because when they have been in a long term relationship
    their partner may lose their attractive-ness (sexual appeal) because their become immune to there looks after being with them for so long. The theory that if you look at something (or someone) for too long it loses its beauty. They may still love them but nothing is going for them sexually, their bored and need someone new to look at.

    In war zones, it’s said the first time you see someone die it’s horrible but as time goes on you become numb to it all and don’t feel anything when you shoot someone in cold blood. It’s not until you’re out of that environment the emotions you should have had come back.

    I don’t think its important that asexuals have a reason they are like they are. I mean religion is often used to explain why we’re alive but the truth is we exist because we exist- there is no reason . Not having a reason doesn’t make life any less meaningful either. Same goes for asexuals.

    But maybe asexuals could just be people who had low sex drives that turned ‘numb’ or immune to sex as they saw more and more sex around them.

    This could also reinforce the fact that this little community of asexuals has only been around in the last 7 years, and not much was heard about asexuals before 2003.

    anyways great podcast guys. cheers!

    Comment by TheJester | September 27, 2010

  5. Also all the sexuals who say self esteem is the cause of someones asexuality is just BS.

    Having low self esteem isn’t the cause of someones asexuality = you can have low self esteem and still want sex (for the record you can be ugly by society and the medias standards and still find someone willing to have sex with you or you could not feel comfortable naked but still have sex etc etc).

    An asexual with low self esteem could have the worlds best body and look like Miranda Kerr or taylor lautner and still not want sex because that body would still their body. They’d feel the same about sex. Even asexuals who are socially avoidant, have anxiety issues or have depression got help for that and were more confident in themselves and happier – They still may not want sex because they are different things.

    Comment by TheJester | September 27, 2010

  6. I am an asexual man. I am a virgin at 50, by devine design or what ever. I had a normal childhood for the most part, but several traumatic childhood events that shaped my perception of sex.
    I Now suffer PTSD because of bullying and terrible unwanted sexual encounters with both males and females. So I guess I’m asexual. Or in sexual limbo.I would like to be able to have a relatioshipwith a woman but the idea of sexual intimacy is terribly frightening.
    I feel I want to be held and be told I’m loved by men but I have no desire top have sex with them at all. I’m not as afraid of their genitals because they are made just like me. But I have no desire to have sexual contact or intercourse at all.
    Its a sad world for me.
    I would love to find a woman to get married to to play house so to speak but I would want to love them on some level.
    counceling has not helped.

    Comment by Ron Willis | October 16, 2010

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